Monday, August 16, 2010

Fight Back! - I Say

I have a weakness. I don’t know if this is unique to me but I guess it’s not. I can get really mad (or pissed may be a better word) with the right amount of provocation. I consider it a weakness because I know for sure there are people who have more patience and self-control than I do. There is a level (I think) of reservoir of patience each one of us have that, if breached, can trigger a flood of anger to break lose. Although that level may be different for each person. That’s why some are more forgiving than others but still, I think, everyone have this trigger point.

After much thought and self-analysis, I came to know that there are two things which can really piss me off. One of which, I have the misfortune to experience again recently. (More on that later). The first one is when someone lies to me or tries to fool me. This is most especially annoying when the lie is so obvious that the liar seems to be insulting my intelligence thinking that he or she can get away with a stupid lie. I mean, c’mon! If you have to lie to me, might as well get it straight. Think it over and make it plausible. If I can see through the lie without much effort, then you must think that I am that stupid.  This will really piss me off. Not the lie itself, although it’s not a good feeling to be lied to as well, but the obvious blabbering of incoherent and implausible alibis.

This act can cause me to explode with uncontrollable anger. And it can fire me up quite easily. This happened maybe a few times and I am not proud to admit that I used expletives to get the message across.

The second reason why I may lose my cool is when someone treats me like he or she owns me. Like I was beholden to him or her so much that I should just kneel down to serve her highness; like I was a slave and she the Queen of England. I don’t know if you experienced this before but I think you know the feeling of being bossed around. No? Tell me about it! I always get mad as hell whenever this happens to me.  And, like I said, it happened to me recently. Mind you, this is not the first time but one of many times. Still, the effect is not diminished and the anger it burns inside of me is stronger than ever. (Now is the time for shrinks out there to give me advice on anger management. I know you will!)

To be treated like an inferior person is cruelly more hurtful when you know your tormentor doesn’t have the slightest right to do it. I mean, I know there can never be a good enough justification to subject another human being against his will but sometimes a tyrant has enough leverage to do so. Like when you owe him a lot of money or he saved your life or something. But someone without that leverage might just be bold enough to do it to you if you let them. Like, she may boss you around the house even if you are the one who provides for the needs of the kids and even helps her out by lending money to her to pay off debts you don’t owe. I am not saying that this is what happened to me. Shit! Come to think of it, yeah this is exactly what happened to me!

So I know you will blame me for exploding with anger when I got the slave treatment for one whole day! Can you imagine that? By night time, I’ve had enough and got so furious with my tormentor that I cursed her with all my might. I was still shaking with anger when I felt that I might turn violent so I bolted and fled the scene. I mean, it’s really a bad mess but it could have been worse! J

The renowned First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I felt that I was giving my consent when I just let this person treat me like I was her subordinate. That it was okay for her to make me feel like I was her maid or something. I was giving the wrong message that it was fine with me that she bosses me around even if she was not my boss. I felt that I had to take a stand for myself and all the other people who suffer because of her. And so I took back my consent and finally stood up for myself!
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